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Monday, September 28, 2009

Are You Waiting For Permission?

Are you waiting for someone else to come by and give you permission to do what you really want to do? Does just taking action make you feel guilty or worry "what will others think"?

Well, I'm here to tell you that there's no fairy godmother, and there is no mythical authority on high that is going to drop by and bestow this permission on you. Give yourself permission, you need to.

Give yourself permission to do what you want to do and most need. This is not narcissistic or selfish. It is totally not. We are all related and it always matters to act in a way that serves your highest good and the highest good of all. On the other hand, if you leave yourself dying on the vine, how does that serve you? How does that serve others? When you play victim and martyr to the cause you sell yourself short and ultimately rob others of what you most want to give them.

For a simple example, there is the excuse Mom's always use as to why they can't take any time for themselves-"The kids need me!" Yes they do Moms, but if there is no YOU left to give, they are getting ripped off because they are only getting a burned out, exhausted, and perhaps even resentful YOU.

Or, another example, this time from the workplace. Taking a break for lunch would allow you to work at your best. You never take the time because "there's too much to do!", "other people don't", or "my employer frowns upon us taking breaks". Well, is it more important to lean to your health and well-being knowing that you will be far more effective to serve the business if you take a break or is it better to wander around, whine about it, and essentially serve the lowest good for both yourself and the business? You get to choose.

One of the favorite rules I was learnt by a successful woman who knew how to get things done AND build good relationships was "I'd rather ask for forgiveness… not permission." Now I'm not talking about going off the deep end here or doing something wildly out of integrity, unethical, illegal, immoral, etc. I'm talking about doing what you CAN do.

Move those dreams forward. Meet your needs in a healthy and energizing way. No one is coming to give you permission to live your life.

What is one thing you've most wanted to do that you keep hemming and hawing about because you don't feel you "should" or you're waiting for permission? It might look like quiet time every morning. Date nights with your lover. Perhaps you want to tell your mind on an important issue at work or start a project that others keep dragging their feet on. You might even be just eager to withdraw some obligations on your calendar.

Whatever it is - allow yourself does it. I guarantee you'll feel glad you did. Keep in mind that regrets are more about what we don't do than what we do. So give yourself permission to take back the times of your own choices.

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